He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
