No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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