and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
