He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
