Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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