When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
