So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
