this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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