My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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