Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
