Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

i want you now

(916): View more from California

you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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(615): View more from Tennessee

arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life

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(474): View more from

Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you

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(443): View more from Maryland

we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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(415): View more from California

I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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(602): View more from Arizona

I am one with the molecules

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(817): View more from Texas

I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?

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