and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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