Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
