Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
