New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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