I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize