You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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