Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
