quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
