I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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