k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
