well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
