hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
