My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
