So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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