brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone came in the potted fern
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
