just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
please come you make the beer taste better
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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