when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize