You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
