you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
