Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
