There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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