Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
