he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
