I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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