dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
