Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
