I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
