Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
