My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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