Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
