Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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