D3 body, D1 cock
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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