oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
