He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am one with the molecules
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
