member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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