Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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