Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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