it hurts more in the daytime
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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