Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
